Crohn's strikes again!!!

Good old Crohn's! Where would I be without you??? Not only have I been sick for a month with recurrent Crohn's symptoms, but I also have been treated for these symptoms multiple times. It is getting to the point where I might just scream and not stop. The little man symbol is that used for the Crohn's & Collitus Foundation of Canada.

The most frustrating part of Crohn's is the pain that I am in constantly. I mean, I can drain a Tylenol Xtra strength bottle in 2 months flat! And this last month has been hell on earth for me. The best way to describe the pain is to imagine if you had painful arthritis, or you had a swollen ankle, or some joint...and then apply that swelling and rigidity to your intestines. Yeah...it hurts a lot....so much so that I times I think I am bordering on insane...

I read this today about the pain, apparently it is supposed to make me feel better: "Dr. Hrnicek noted that patients taking immunosuppressants like infliximab may be rendered about as immunodeficient as a typical AIDS or Cancer patient, and are prone to opportunistic infections like tuberculosis and fungal infections." w00t! Infliximab is the biological agent that I am on and yes, I am fortunate enough to be suffering from general malaise at all times. It's a nice feeling to be compared to an AIDS or Cancer patient. It definitely makes me confident that I can deal with this for the rest of my life.......(lie?).

But what can I do but educate the crap out of everyone so they can understand where I am coming from. Then they can educate the ignorant and so on and so forth.....................the only thing I have to do now is somehow get my faculty at school to realize that this is the degree to which I am ill.

In the meantime, I am going to see my gastroenterologist in Ottawa and see if he can fix me up. Best case scenario for how I feel, a little bit of Cipro and Flagyl and I will be good to go. Worst case scenario, I go back under the knife because I have a fistula that is messing everything up in my bowels. Fun fun FUNNNN!!

Oh what I wouldn't give sometimes to be 20 again before all of this shit hit the fan. Life was simpler back then and I miss it so much. In all honesty, I am so angry sometimes that I have this disease...but that is no way to deal with it. I realize that I have to make the best of my life. So instead of rushing and hurrying and stressing, which I can't do anymore, I smell flowers, take in sunsets, listen to bird's sing and generally appreciate life a whole lot more.

It is amazing what you appreciate when things get taken away from you. I now try not to take anything or anyone for granted. Life is too short and I have to make the most of the time that I have been given because of the Infliximab.