I have realized with my Grandmother's passing how much of her character I have internalized and how the little things that I tend to do are similar to some of the things that she did. For instance, I just found out yesterday that her crystal pattern was that of vines and flowers, very organic and natural. Tom and I have also chosen a pattern very similar to this just after he got back in February. Unbeknownst to me, we had the same pattern. I know that this might not seem like a huge deal, but to her, it would have meant the world to know. I guess I just wish that I had the chance to tell her about it. There are other odd little circumstances that parallel me to my Grandmother, and maybe with time, I will be able to share them. But as of now, I am still to emotional about her death, as she meant a great deal to me. So, perhaps with time, the wonderful similarities can be expressed.I was fortunate enough to give the eulogy at her funeral. I thought it was appropriate because I know that she would have liked it a lot, it was the noble and right thing to do, and she always told me that I was good with words. With that in mind, I sought to honour her life and to make everyone appreciate the teachings that gave to us without us knowing it. Here is the eulogy:
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Today, we are celebrating the life of a woman who has left a definitive imprint on our lives and has forever etched the true meaning of kindness into our hearts. Upon preparing this, I was approached by quite a few caring individuals who wished to share a special memory that they had of Violet. There were many, many beautiful stories, but a consistent theme amongst them was that of Violet’s unconditional kindness and warmth. This brings to mind a quotation spoken by another woman known for her infallible kindness, and to whom Violet was compared to on many occasion, Mother Theresa. She said: “Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next-door neighbor. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better or happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile; kindness in your warm greeting.” We are all here today because this is who Violet was.
Violet Mary Madeline Munro was a person that exuded grace and love. Born alongside her twin brother Bart on September 1st, 1932 in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, to parents Bert and Viola Munro. With a close bond to her mother and an abundance of respect for her father, Violet was a happy child that thrived in the nurturing environment of her family. She would often speak of how she looked up to her sister June, consistently mentioning how beautiful and graceful she was. Ronnie, her brother, always made her laugh and look at the world as a place of wonder. And she always mentioned how wonderful it was to be a twin and that God had blessed her with a best friend, Bart, right from the start. Following their father's career, they moved from Moose Jaw to Ottawa and finally settled in Toronto. This movement throughout Canada allowed Violet to appreciate the true beauty of the Canadian landscape. During the summer, all of the children were sent on a train to spend time in Chatéguay, Quebec, with their Grandparents at the summer cottage. This love of the outdoors and family transcended throughout all of the stages in Violet’s truly wonderful life.
A bright young scholar, Violet was recruited in High School for a position as an executive secretary for Manufacturer’s Life. She resided with her family in a quite neighbourhood in Toronto. One ordinary day, another wonderful family moved into the same neighbourhood. There was something curious about this family that seemed to draw Violet in, namely a handsome younger man, Carl Thomas Waters. I was told that Carl was persistent to win the affection of Violet, and I guess his persistence paid off because in July of 1956 in the Casa Loma Gardens in Toronto, Carl, on bended knee, asked Violet to spend the rest of her life with him. On September 7th, 1957, Violet Munro became Violet Waters through the blessed sacrament of marriage. Family was an important virtue to the couple and they were blessed with three beautiful children: Patricia, Peter and Sean.
Violet was a modern woman before the term gained widespread usage in everyday vernacular. She held employment until she was 65 years of age, was the first to stop wearing hats to Sunday mass when it was deemed acceptable, and had a fond love of math and numbers and would consistently tell you of instances in which the clerks could not add up the change needed as fast as she could. Along with this strength and charisma, was a strong rooting in the teachings of her faith. She embodied what the church taught, and gave this gift in the form of kindness, acceptance and love: love of community, of person and of family.
One of the many wonderful aspects of Violet’s character was that she brought this love for family with her wherever she went, enriching the lives not only of her children and husband, but also the life of anyone with whom she came in to contact. There are multiple examples of her selfless service and enrichment of the community: from dying the jerseys for a new hockey team, to being part of the Mother’s Guild at St. Stephen’s and Father Henry Carr, to being active in the St. Benedict’s church community. She took the time to ensure that anyone who felt alone was carried. With her uncanny ability to sense when someone needed support or guidance, Violet was always read to listen with kind words of support and the ability to take you under her wings. And if you thought that her kindness extended only to the conversation, you would be sorely mistaken, as you would be included in her prayers until you were seen through your tough spot. She truly was a living angel.
Violet had a broad library of anecdotes, which she often used to explain God’s teaching to us when we were stumbling and needed it the most. Sayings like, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all” to “it’s best to pray for those who are unkind to us, for they are the ones that need it the most” and “you can grow up with cars, and diamonds and silver spoons, and all the money in the world, but without God in your life, you have no riches at all.” These illustrate the dimension and depth of what she taught on a daily basis.
Maya Angelou said it best: "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." The sheer joy, happiness and peacefulness that we experienced when we were in her presence is what has brought us here together today. She always saw the best in everyone and encouraged us to reach our full potential. In a world where the news consistently reflects the negative, she was a beacon of light, reminding us of all that was possible and beautiful in the world. It is important to remember the messages in all of Violet’s teachings. When we were faced with difficult decisions, Violet would often ask, “Well, what would Jesus do?” After having seen countless examples of her employing this message, when I find myself in the shadow of a doubt, wondering which way to turn, I find myself asking, “what would Violet do?”
In closing, I would like to read a passage written by Emily Dickinson. It demonstrates the impact that a few kind words and actions can have and illustrates what Violet has done for all of us, even if we did not know it at the time. “If I can stop one Heart from breaking,/ I shall not live in vain;/ if I can ease one Life the Aching,/ Or cool one pain,/ Or help one fainting Robin/ Unto his Nest again,/ I shall not live in vain.”
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I will have to figure out what I am to gain from this experience and what the silver lining is. I know that she is at peace now, but I remember her saying that everything happens for a reason, so I am just trying to figure out this reason such that I can grow from it. We shall see if I ever figure it out. All I know is that the world has lost someone that is completely irreplaceable.
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