Revenge of the BIRDS!!!!

I live in a house that is infested with birds. Not your average cute little chickadees....we are talking huge honking birds that can fit through cracks (literally) and disappear into thin air and through the walls when you chase after them. I am not joking here....my house is infested with....dun dun DUNNN....STARLINGS!!!!

So, why is this such a bad thing? Sure, they poop everywhere, they leave their feathers here and there, and they are try to build a nests...but that is not the worst reason. The worst is that I can get CHLAMYDIA from them (as shown in my lovely bacteria picture). Yep, the clap from the birds in my very own house. All I can say is that those little birds are bastards.

They were brought to North America by a man who was an avid Shakespearian fan. He felt that we would all benefit from their intergration because of their "enhanced" descriptions in Shakespeare's writings.

Good job, asshole. Thank you for allowing me to get an STD from a bird. Way to think that one through! How are you supposed to explain to someone that you got an STD from a bird? I will hopefully never, ever have to find out.